Lip Service

Picture this scene: Moslem hordes, bursting into Christian homes, and trying to force their children to renounce their faith.  If the children do not, they are beheaded -- right there in front of their parents.  Is this a tale excerpted from Lives of the Saints, or is it some narrative plucked from another part of the Church’s past?  No, it’s happening right now, even as we speak, over in the Middle East.  The “Moslem hordes,” in this case, are ISIS operatives.  And who are their victims?  It turns out that, in the main, they are the children of Baptist missionaries over there – you know, those wretched “Samaritans,” looked down upon by traddies, and “for whom there is no salvation.”  In the towns where ISIS takes over, they systematically go from house to house, asking the children to “renounce Jesus.”  A Baptist spokesman reports that, to a child, every one of them chose beheading rather than do that.

The ISIS fighters singled out the children, not the parents – undoubtedly to maximize the grief on both sides.  And it must be remembered that beheading, “Moslem style,” involves not a mercifully quick stroke with a large sword, but a slow, ritualistic severing of the head from the body (by the back-and-forth slicing motion of a knife), while some deranged “imam” nearby rattles off some satanic Moslem “prayers.”  This gives the victim plenty of time to “ponder” his position -- while his head is slowly being parted from his body.  And, to repeat, it was done in front of the parents in order to maximize and prolong their anguish.

Was this something that was reported in Dannie Dolan’s sermon on the great feast of Christ the King?  Or was it in his Bishop’s Corner in that Sunday’s church bulletin?  No, it wasn’t.  In his sermon, Dannie was too busy doing his usual “Bergoglio bashing,” and ranting against “modernism.”  And his Bishop’s Corner?  That was full of his usual sanctimonious pap: “our perfect action and reaction to the revolution against morality which just concluded in Rome”; and how about this for meaningless drivel: “Here, in the shadow of the tabernacle we will dwell in safety”; or this: “Here, at the Communion Rail, marriages will find their strength, morality will triumph over moral relativism, and our innocent children will persevere in virtue”; and finally, that perennial favorite, “Come, Let us adore!”

And, of course (since the feast of Christ the King includes Forty Hours Devotion), Dannie exhorted his Gerties to “Make a visit this afternoon. Come back for closing service this evening.”  Then he added, “Great observances such as this demand much preparation and cooperation for the ceremonies and music and altars and refreshments.”  [Oh, how Dannie loves his “show”!]  Now there’s nothing wrong with any of this per se: adoring our Lord is, after all, one of the most edifying things we can do.  But you and I both know that, with Dannie, it’s not about glorifying God; it’s about aggrandizing Dannie; it’s about “the show.”

What we’d like to know is this: Dannie, where was your “triumph over moral relativism” when the school principal’s boys were watching those porn and animal torture flicks on the school computer (and you called it “boys will be boys’)?  And when they tried to get younger students to watch them too, how did that help “our innocent children… persevere in virtue”?  [Perhaps they were watching them “in the shadow of the tabernacle” where they could “dwell in safety”?]  Was this their “perfect action and reaction to the revolution against morality which just concluded in Rome”?  Enlighten us, Dannie, if you will!

But Dannie can’t enlighten us, can he?  Double-standard Dan only reports others’ sins, not his own.  If he had heard about those Baptist missionaries and their children, he probably would have berated them, just as he did with that Kentucky woman who spoke out against homosexual “marriage.”  After all, in the pecking order of “unworthy scum,” Baptists are “way down there,” even below the Novus Ordo.  To Traddieland’s chief Pharisee, these people are worse than Samaritans. But would Dannie have had the same faith and courage as these folks?  We think not.  Dannie likes to “talk brave” here, where he can “dwell in safety”; but we don’t see him going on any “apostolates” to Iraq or Syria any time soon.

Dannie is too busy condemning people for violating his “articles of faith.”  It was downright amusing to see how eagerly he reported one of his “brave” culties (who attends his Milwaukee cult center) dressing down an SSPX bishop for saying an una cum Mass: “’Why do you put the name of a Satan-worshipping Free Mason in the Canon of the Mass?’ she politely inquired. The bishop only gave her one of those insipid smiles that bishops are known for.”  Our italics.]  We wonder if she (or Dannie) would admonish a scimitar-wielding ISIS operative in the same way.  Again, we think not.  (But we know what Dannie means when he talks about “one of those insipid smiles that bishops are known for.” Yeah, Dannie, we know that “smile” well -- except that in this case, it’s a mousy snicker.)

But that’s what happens when the cult mentality takes over.  Dannie, Tony, and the fire-breathing nitwit down in Florida have their followers believing that “”there’s no salvation outside the cult center”; and they have dreamed up all sorts of “requirements” for one to be “Catholic.”  The result is that they have split Catholics into warring factions, all at one another’s throats – even pitting family members against one another.  And for good reason: the cult masters do not WANT unity, because they don’t want people to be able to go to just any Catholic church -- they want them only at their church.  Unity is “bad for business.” 

Unfortunately, this mentality pervades much of Traddieland: each warring faction imposes its own set of pet “rules” to keep its followers within its enclave (and to disqualify everyone else).  And while they’re bickering over these petty (and irresolvable) issues, others are taking the lead in what really matters – those Baptist missionaries, for example.  While they are literally dying for their faith, Dannie only talks about it (usually with a Lives of the Saints anecdote from the distant past).  They gave their lives; Dannie gives lip service.  And sometimes, it’s not even that: when that Kentucky woman stood up for marriage, Dannie could only criticize her.  And while a Novus Ordo priest was fighting for Terri Schiavo’s life, Dannie and Tony could only offer reasons why her husband was justified in having her starved and dehydrated to death (while they were feeding their faces at their favorite restaurants).

What Traddieland needs is NOT men like these two cowardly, self-seeking maggots, but men who will UNITE Catholics (instead of inventing reasons to divide them).  “Sedevacantism” is NOT a criterion for determining if someone is “Catholic,” nor is it a reason to bar one from the sacraments – and praying for a bad pope does not make a Mass invalid (or illicit).  Men like Dannie, Tony, and Big Don have absolutely NO POWER (or right) to decree such things as “prerequisites” for being “Catholic.” Regardless of what people’s beliefs are on such issues, they are Catholic – and no self-appointed “theologians” can decree otherwise.  These things are not articles of faith; they are private opinions that ecclesiastical tinhorns like Dannie, Tony, and Bombastic Don haven’t the juridical authority to impose on anyone. Dannie, Tony, and Big Don, in short, are FRAUDS.

So, what can one do?  How can one unite with fellow Catholics?  First, start by listening to (and supporting) priests who are saying and doing the right things.  This article’s opening remarks about those Baptist martyrs, for instance: they were excerpted from a sermon given recently by a priest who is “saying and doing the right things.”  (Click here for the full sermon.)  In it, you’ll find none of Dannie’s sanctimonious horse dung or Tony’s fallacious tedium, or the maniacal ravings of Brooksville’s swampland sadist® – only the simple truth, intelligently articulated in a straightforward, no-nonsense manner: straight talk about real problems in a real world.  There’s also none of Dannie’s other drivel: banal banter about the weather and/or the flora and fauna of the region, or brainless chatter about the grisly habits of one’s pet cats.  Note also that there are no “funding requests” for “apostolates” to faraway lands (to perform unneeded confirmations), or any heavy-handed hints about paying for “high heating bills” or “leaky roofs” (not to mention, raccoon infestations -- for a facility that, by the way, is less than twenty years old, but already falling apart). 

Concurrent with finding (and supporting) worthy priests, concerned Catholics must rid themselves of illegitimate parasites like Dannie, Tony, and Big Don, and then strive to find common ground with other Catholics.  They must, again, UNITE under worthy men; and they must learn to put their differences aside on issues that are not defined dogma (such as sedevacantism), and concentrate on the ones that are.  One of the four marks of the true Church is Unity.  And until “traditional Catholicism” starts working towards uniting – and under worthy men -- it cannot hope to become Catholic.  Perhaps it is an elusive goal, but it is the only one with any chance of success.  The path that Traddieland is now on can only lead to failure.