“Just Say No”

Editor's Note: This article is the last of our "weekly" articles for Lay Pulpit.  After this, we will revert to our normal "bi-weekly" schedule, i.e., publishing only every other week.  Our next article will be published on October 17.

The SGG cult-masters’ obsession with “externals” includes not only “the show” (pontifical Masses, over-the-top processions, etc.), but also the “rules” that they promulgate to make SGG look like a model of “parochial perfection.”  In its printed brochures (and on its website), SGG portrays itself as having strict standards for “dress” and rules of conduct -- a kind of sanctified Shangri-La, where kids are neat, clean, and “well-behaved,” and where families are wholesome, well-dressed, and well-mannered: an orderly oasis in a disordered world – a kind of sanitized version of small-town, 1950’s Catholicism.  But nothing could be farther from the truth.

SGG’s rules for “dress” and conduct” are, like everything else there, “just for show.”  Firstly, their rules are not so much about “modesty” and “morality” as they are about manipulation and control.  Secondly, they are selectively enforced.  “Prominent” parishioners ("big “donors,” e.g.) are “exempt.”  One, for example, never wore a dress shirt the whole time he was at SGG (much less, a coat and tie) – even though, as an usher, he was supposed to “set the example” for others.  And as for “modesty,” another “prominent” parishioner wore dresses that, although they were “regulation length,” were so “tightly wrapped” that they “left little to the imagination.”

The fact is, Dannie and Tony really don’t care about “modesty” and “conduct” at all.  How could they, when they referred to the school principal’s sons watching porn and animal torture videos on the school computer (or one of them impregnating an SGG classmate) as “boys will be boys”?  (And why did those sons get no punishment at all for doing what they did, while another student got thrashed with a wooden paddle for missing a homework assignment?)  Again, it’s because all their “rules” are NOT about modesty and morality, but about manipulation and control.

Perhaps an example of one of their “conduct” rules will illustrate the degree of lunacy to which they resort: during the sermon, mothers with crying babies must leave the church, and go to the vestibule “crying room,” where they must remain until after the sermon is finished.  (Yes, they, and anyone who leaves, say, to use the restroom, are forbidden to re-enter church until after the sermon.) And while there, they must maintain monastic silence -- on hard benches with no chair-backs -- in a room that is neither heated in winter nor cooled in summer.  Anyone who violates this the “silence” rule or the “no return” rule is dealt with severely.* 

Add to that the kind of “morality” the kids are taught at SGG: it was perfectly acceptable for a helpless young woman (Terri Schiavo) to be starved and dehydrated to death (in Tony Cekada’s words, the cost of keeping her alive was a “grave burden on society”), yet things such as wearing a sport-logo headband in church or riding a roller-coaster were mortal sins.  The fact is, it’s perfectly acceptable to lie, cheat, steal, or to malign one’s fellow man at SGG, because there, one’s worth is measured NOT by how he treats his neighbor, but by how many Masses he attends, how many Hail Mary’s he says, or how many processions he signs up for. Like it was with the Pharisee in Christ’s parable, “saying all the right prayers” is what its all about.

The effect of all this “dualism” has been nothing short of catastrophic.  Its immediate effect was the decimation of SGG’s ranks: about half the congregation left after the 2009 school scandals; and since then, there has been a slow but steady decline.  Even for those who remained (most of whom were those whose children were not enrolled in SGG’s school, and who thus didn’t experience the brutality there), it has still had a disruptive effect on them and their families.  In some cases, spouses have left; but, more often than not, it’s their older children who have left (and, in some cases, have abandoned their Faith altogether).

It’s easy to understand how this could happen: when these youngsters witnessed Dannie’s double-standard behavior back in 2009 – how he dismissed blatantly immoral behavior as “boys will be boys,” yet dealt severely with others for minor (or non-existent) infractions -- they saw the hypocrisy of it all, and they reacted accordingly.  When they saw this sort of behavior being passed off as “religion,” it had its predictable effect: they became disillusioned and disenchanted – and they revolted (especially in those families whose parents were ardently “cultish”).  The more cult-like they were, the more their children revolted – and the more shockingly so.**

And, even among those who didn’t “revolt,” there was another outcome equally as bad: many of SGG’s parishioners who accepted Dannie’s behavior came to emulate it.  One instance involved a man who, sometime after his wife left him, decided to board with another family.  (She left, by the way, because of his slavish devotion to the cult-center, at the expense of his family.)  This other family’s mother, who had twelve kids to look after, had to do a little bit of sewing one Sunday.  The man told her that – because it was Sunday -- she was “committing sin” for “doing servile work.”  What made his accusation so ridiculous was that this man himself was doing his wash that very same day – a classic case of Dannie’s “do as I say, not as I do” philosophy.

In another instance, when Dannie’s outlandish claims about a deceased former parishioner (Bernie Brueggemann) drew an angry response from one of Bernie’s own sons, one of Dannie’s culties (in typical cultie fashion) condemned the son because he used the word “bullshit” to describe Dannie’s lies about his father.  She called him “un-Catholic” for using that word (as if she never uttered it herself!).  The fact that the son was totally right – and that Dannie had told a bald-faced lie – was totally lost on her. (See A Pristine Display of Hypocrisy.)  But that’s what happens when Dannie “rubs off” on people:  they become hypocrites.

The good news, however, is that things are changing.  More and more parishioners are recognizing (and rejecting) Dannie’s hypocrisy – and seeing through his “schemes” (including his constant harping about “donating” and “attending the show”).  They’re tired of paying for anything and everything: “excessive heating bills,” a new (and unneeded) organ for Tony, winter “apostolates” to sunny Mexico for Dannie, etc., etc. etc.  In short, they’re tired of being exploited.  They’re also staying away from “the show” (the High Mass); and attendance at other “extracurricular functions” (rosary processions, Lenten services, etc.) is dwindling too.  In fact, it’s so low that Dannie has had to resort to “guilt-tripping” on a regular basis to “shame” them into coming – to no avail.   

Dannie has left a legacy of shattered hopes, depleted pocketbooks, and even shattered families. This is no longer going unnoticed by SGG’s parishioners.  Much of Dannie’s credibility now gone, they are questioning him more and more.   Many, in fact, are just “hanging on by a thread,” ready to bolt when Dannie makes his next false move.  But the truth is, all of Dannie’s moves are “false.”  That said, the time for them to leave is NOW.  But many worry, “What will my friends say?”  Well, the answer to that is: Don’t worry.  Your “friends” won’t really care.  (Most, in fact, will probably be following your lead in short order!)  Leaving is not as painful as you think.  In fact, it’s not painful at all.  Follow the lead of the many who have gone before.    And as for “what Dannie will think,” the answer to that is: WHO CARES?  Dannie thinks (and cares) about no one but Dannie.***

So, “why prolong the agony”?  Take a cue from a popular anti-drug slogan of some years back, and “just say no” to Dannie and Tony.  Just leave.  You’ll be glad you did.

_________________________

* Another insane “rule” is the “no drink” rule: the church vestibule has a drinking fountain – but it is “off-limits” during Mass  (or at least was): once, when the school principal caught his own teenage daughter drinking from it, he chastised her for doing so – publicly humiliating her in front of everybody.  The girl, whose throat was dry and raspy from singing in the choir, went into the vestibule to get a drink of water during her “sermon break,” whereupon her father, the school principal – eager to show his “authority” – angrily pushed her away, and castigated her in front of everyone. 

The girl (actually, a young woman of seventeen or so) – astonished, red-faced, and close to tears at being treated like a child – quietly walked back into church.  We’re sure that those present admired her Christ-like forbearance in the face of such unwarranted humiliation – but that her father’s senseless act of cruelty only reinforced their suspicions about his reputation at the school.

** In many families, the children reacted simply by no longer coming to church.  But in some, it took a more ominous turn: one girl left home and had two children out of wedlock, while another became a lesbian.  In yet another instance, a girl not only became lesbian, but is even contemplating becoming a “trans-gender.”  And in just about every case, they were so "turned off" by the cult-masters' brand of "Catholicism" that they probably ended up losing their faith.

*** Many are afraid to leave SGG because they think, “Where will we go?”  That is downright ludicrous, because, in “Dannie’s neighborhood” (southwest Ohio), there are perhaps more choices available to them than anywhere else in the country.  There’s the SSPV (Immaculate Conception Church) – which, by the way, has a school that puts SGG’s rat-hole to shame.  And there are also SSPX and CMRI chapels, as well as “independents.”  Southwest Ohio is a veritable smorgasbord of “trad” chapels from which to choose.  And, regardless of whatever reasons Dannie dreams up to disqualify them, they’re all valid.