“Show Me the Money”

One of Daniel Dolan’s laments that he voiced recently in his Bishop’s Corner column was about the sparse attendance during this Lenten season’s Friday night services, and another thing that he implied was about the excessive heating bills during this past winter.  These are familiar exhortations with Dannie: it seems that the culties can never do enough when it comes to attendance and/or financial support for the cult center.  Of course, what he failed to mention in his column was that those who are conscientious enough to come on Friday nights are charged for coming: a collection is taken up (purportedly for “alms”).  In addition, they are expected to bring food for the Friday night “pot luck” dinners to feed themselves and, of course, the SGG clergy too.  This is how they are “rewarded” for having made the sacrifice of coming.  It must have been really consoling to them that Dannie was down in warm, sunny Mexico “consuming copious quantities of beef” while they were trudging through the snow and cold to get their fish sticks and “mac and cheese” – and that they were paying the tab for both.

And I’m sure that their hearts go out to Dannie for his having to bear the “excessive heating bills” imposed on the cult center by “the Duke” (as if the money was coming out of Dannie’s pocket).  Of course, whining about SGG’s utility bills is nothing new for Dannie.  In fact, in recent years, he has consistently complained about it  -- even to the point of taking up special “second collections” for just that purpose (it’s a shame that the parishioners don’t have someone take up a second collection to help pay their heating bills!).

It’s ironic that Dannie should complain about “excessive heating bills,” because the move from SGG’s old location in Sharonville, Ohio to their present facility in West Chester was supposed to take care of that problem.  The old location was – besides being too “crowded” -- thought to be “not energy efficient enough”; and the new facility was to be “well insulated” to eliminate that concern.  Well, not only was it not insulated well enough, but its shoddy construction made it structurally inferior to what they had before (see Extreme Makeover).  And as for the “crowding” issue, there was an adjoining facility (next to the old church) that could have been had for a modest sum – which would have more than solved that problem.

Another irony about “heating bills” is that – although Dannie and Tony’s rectory is always kept comfortably climate controlled (with three independently-controlled “climate zones”), SGG’s church vestibule (which doubles as the “crying room” for young mothers with babies) is kept unheated.  Perhaps, if they’re worried about heating bills, Dannie and Tony could do the same for themselves.  Or, perhaps, they could shut down the “convent-that-never-was” (that is used for boarding underling priests) and make room for those priests in the rectory -- by subdividing either one of their mansion-sized private bedroom suites (or both) – to accommodate them.  And, of course, as a recent Pistrina article pointed out, Dannie could have foregone taking his two mid-winter Latin getaways – which would probably have paid for several seasons’ worth of heating bills.

Actually, there is much that Dannie (and Tony) could “forego”: SGG’s school, for one, which was basically a private tutoring venue (and a sub-standard one at that) for the Lotarski family – and which is much bigger than it needs to be (several of its rooms are used for storing Dannie and Tony’s ever-expanding hoard of liturgical goodies).  The same probably holds true for the convent-turned-rectory-annex.  Like the school, much of it too is probably used to store more of Dannie and Tony’s junk.  And last, but not least, they did’t need a “carriage house” – built ostensibly for cars, but which has probably become yet another receptacle for their junk.

One wonders how long the culties will put up with all of this.  Their only consolation is that -- for the most part – the tab for the new facility has already been paid for by those who have gone before them (and who have since left SGG in disgust).  It should be noted that when the “building campaign” for the present facility was going on, the amount that the average parishioner was expected to pay was absolutely outrageous.  Widows living on Social Security, for instance, were expected to donate about half a year’s worth of their pensions towards it.  In the end, Dannie and Tony had to scrap plans for their “sermon in stone” (their originally conceived church), and had to settle for a “gymnasium in gypsum” – and, to this day, the gym still serves as the “church.”

A “cloister to nowhere” still waits to be attached to that “sermon in stone,” which, of course, will never materialize.  And that is as it should be, for even the SGG crowd wouldn’t stand for such an expenditure at this point.  And, besides, Dannie and Tony’s focus has shifted from that to what really counts for them: retirement in some other place where they can live La Dolce Vita.  They also realize that the West Chester facility will be a pile of rubble some day, so they must make their adieu before that happens.  As Louis XV might have exclaimed, “Après nous, la démolition!”

Dannie Dolan’s embarrassingly transparent hint for help with the heating bills is yet another Freudian slip on his part: he and Tony are so preoccupied with how to squeeze more money out of the culties that they forget themselves.  A look at their website is proof enough: naked appeals to “donate” and to “subscribe” to their various newsletters and publications (including the still-born Work of Human Hands), plus appeals to “remember us in your will.”  Whether it’s that, or “commemorative paver stones,” or $500 fees for weddings and funerals, or some other cash-generation gimmick, the parasitic pair has always found ways to fleece the flock.

Those they deem worth fleecing, that is: when half the congregation left in disgust after the SGG school scandals, Dannie and Tony sent out letters to the “heavy hitters,” imploring them (usually with “guilt-trip” rhetoric) to return -- while ignoring those who had little money to donate.  Their priority was money, not souls: one couple, whom Dannie and Tony knew to have been previously divorced but who were generous givers, were eagerly sought out to return.  Apparently, it didn’t matter to Dannie and Tony how “white” their souls were, but how green their money was.  But that should come as no surprise whatsoever – because it’s not the first time that Dannie and Tony have prostituted their Catholic principles for material gain – and it won’t be the last.

On Schiavo, for instance, Cekada saw it not as a “dignity of life” issue, but as a “money” thing.  To him, the cost of keeping Terri Schiavo alive constituted “a grave burden on society.” And in his comments about Abbot Leonard Giardina (in Quidlibet), money was again on his mind: his insinuation was that the late Abbot avoided “controversy” for mercenary reasons.  Besides this insinuation being the lowest of “cheap shots,” it illustrated Cekada’s own mercenary mentality (and how he measured “success”) – plus his naked envy of anyone who achieved that success.  Just as cheap, in terms of theatrics, was Dolan’s “triple-Mass” funeral extravaganza for the deceased wife of an SGG parishioner – a woman who neither attended SGG, nor cared three straws for Dolan and Cekada.  Never before or since has such a spectacle been seen at SGG.  Could it be that this had anything to do with the fact that the parishioner is one of SGG’s major donors?

These and other examples continue to illustrate how embarrassingly obvious the dynamic duo’s preoccupation with money has always been.  It should be clear by now to everyone that money -- not souls -- is their real business.  So, for those who are still there at SGG, we suggest that you put them OUT of business.  It’s a simple enough thing to do: just stop giving, and start walking away.