“Excess Baggage”

Well, the Floridian Farce – Swamp Fest 2018 -- is now over with, and Joey Selway has his miter – and all the attendees have traipsed back to their respective cult centers, ogling their fellow culties with their tales of having been at “the big show” –Tradistan’s “event of the millennium.”  And among them, of course, was His Self-Importancy, the Rialto Road peacock, no doubt still wallowing in the luster having had the (seemingly) heady role of being a prestigious “co-consecrator” for the "boy bishop.”¹ But the “bottom line” on this affair is that it was just Tradistan’s latest bit of pretentious, pharisaic ostentation.  In Tradistan, you see, “pomp and ceremony” equals “Catholicism.”

But that is precisely what is wrong with Tradistan: pomp and ceremony is just that – pomp and ceremony.  It is NOT Catholicism.  In fact, it is anything BUT Catholicism.  First and foremost, it’s deception -- and Tradistan’s chief architect of such hypocrisy is, of course, Dannie Dolan.  Dannie’s pontifical pageantry is all designed to give the impression that he is a good man – which he isn’t.  To cite just one of many examples of his hypocrisy: for Dannie to stand there, “waxing poetic” about “protecting our innocent children” on Guardian Angel Sunday, then expose them to the cruelty of “the principal” (and to the blatant immorality of his sons), and then to have condoned it all, absolutely reeks of hypocrisy – and of evil.

What “good” is all that “pontifical pageantry,” coming from a man who thinks that watching porn is a case of “boys will be boys,” or who can condone what happened at SGG’s school in 2009 – or who can justify the murder of Terri Schiavo?   What kind of “Catholicism” can one expect from such a man?  What kind of moral guidance?  What good is all of this “pontifical pageantry,” coming from such a man?  Has it “improved” his character in any way?  No, it hasn’t.  Just as the skill of a surgeon (or the beauty of a composer’s music) is no indication of either one’s character, neither is Dannie’s “show” an indication of his character.  For all his “holy talk” and over-the-top ostentation, Dannie has absolutely no moral fiber.

Now the fact that we have mentioned this (and other things) several times before has led to comments by some of the cult-masters’ apologists that we are “repeating the same old stuff over and over again.”  They accuse us of “harping” – especially about Schiavo.  Well, yes, we do repeat such things – and why not?  But one is to accuse us of “harping” about such things, then he might as well accuse his parish priest of “harping” about "the same old Gospel” and “the same old parables” every week from the pulpit.  He might as well complain, “Oh, are you harping about the Crucifixion again?  Give it a rest!”  The logic of such a mindset is indeed empty and absurd – but it is the only ploy left for those who cannot deny the truth, and who cannot defend the indefensible.

Do these people think that, just because these things happened years ago, their severity is somehow mitigated by the passage of time?  Perhaps they think that we should just “forget about what’s happened in the past” and “let bygones be bygones.”  Or perhaps they might point out that the events of 2009 (or Schiavo) are ”water over the dam” and/or that Dannie and Tony have “mended their ways” since then.  Well, if they had mended their ways, we might be inclined to feel differently, and give them the benefit of the doubt.  But they haven’t – and they have demonstrated that time and again since then. Their whole tenure at SGG has been one of deceit, of misrepresentation, and of exploitation, which continues to this day. 

Dannie still expects his Gerties to be his serfs, catering to his every whim; and he continues to invent new ways to take financial advantage of them (such as his “CAT” club” – “Clergy Airport Transportation” club) – as if the Gerties have nothing else to do but play “taxi service” for Dannie and his band of boondoggling “clergy.”  Dannie also continues with his guilt-tripping in his everlasting efforts to shame his Gerties into coming to “the show” more often (and/or he hands out phony “dispensations” to entice them to come).  And he is everlastingly touching them for money to subsidize his trips to sunny Mexico (or to some other “apostolate” destination).  And then, of course, there are Dannie’s never-ending pleas for money to fix the prematurely crumbling cult center.

Dannie’s attempts at exploitation will never end – because he can’t afford to stop.  He’s hurting for money.  With the Lotarski millstone around his neck, and with the mounting expenses of his crumbling cult center,  he just can’t afford to let up.  And what compounds his problems is that, because of his (and Tony’s) past profligacy, what money they should have accumulated by now is not there – and no more is coming in.  The Gerties are catching on: attendance is down, and collections are downright anemic.  Plus, Dannie’s prestige is at an all-time low.  His trek down to the swamp for Joey’s “consecration” was just a bread crumb thrown to him, to keep the SGG-MHT “alliance” on life support, until Joey (or his old man) decides to “pull the plug.”

Joey doesn’t need Dannie (or Tony) anymore.  As PL pointed out, the association of MHT with SGG was not so much the Selways’ but Sanborn’s.  Joey owes no particular allegiance to Dannie or Tony – nor does he have any.³  And, for that matter, he doesn’t need [Not-so-] Big Don either.  Joey has his miter now; and he’ll still have the support of Brooksville’s “elite” families (and his own family's), whether Donny stays or not.  All that Sanborn represents for him now is one more mouth to feed.  The Donster is no longer an asset, but a liability. And, actually, so are Dannie and Tony.  Those losers can’t even sustain themselves – so what would Junior have to gain from any continued association with them? 

In Joey, the Swampland now has its “new blood.”  And whether he brings any new brains to the mix, that’s a moot point: the cult doesn’t need brains; it just needs money – and, between the Selways and the “elite” families, there’s plenty of that to sustain them.  The old regime – Dannie, Tony, and Donny – are no longer “relevant.”  They are redundant – “excess baggage,” if you will.²  And, as Brooksville becomes more insular and withdrawn into itself (which, as PL noted, is a distinct possibility), the over-the-hill threesome will only become more irrelevant and unneeded.  Big Don, for instance: any pipe dreams to the contrary notwithstanding, he is no longer the dynamo he once was.  With his heart problems, the Flatbush firebrand cannot be his bombastic old self anymore – nor have any energetic “expansionist” plans.   And Dannie and Tony?  Dannie’s dreams of turning SGG into a Midwestern Mecca have evaporated; and, because of Schiavo and the 2009 school scandals, both Dannie’s and Tony’s credibility in TradWorld is now ZERO -- so they too are not about to do any “expansion.”  For all three, their dreams of prestige and glory are now a distant memory; and they have nothing to which to look forward, except a few years of retirement. 

The good news is that, as their prestige and effectiveness decline, the less spiritual harm these lepers can do.  But the bad news is that the “new blood” might carry on where "the old blood" leaves off -- Joey at MHT, and (probably) Uneven Steven at SGG.  It is our sincere hope that they do not – that Joey will one day wake up and realize that he is not suited for this job that his daddy forced him into, and that McFaker will not follow in Dannie’s footsteps – but so far, the likelihood of that happening doesn't seem very promising.  We can hope, though, that – if Brooksville does become more “insular,” this may at least help keep that cancer from spreading.  And we can also hope that, as more people continue to find out about Dannie and Tony, that tumor will dry up too.  We hope that, one day, people will no longer be victimized by these malicious predators – or any others like them – so that Traddieland can, once and for all, be rid of such “excess baggage.”

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¹ But the harsh reality for Dannie is that, though he was a “co-consecrator,” he wasn’t the main one: Geert Stuyver got that nod.  Dannie was just a dummy co-pilot “along for the ride” – no doubt picked (by Big Don) because of SGG’s and MHT’s “seminary” relationship (that is, for “political reasons”).  But, as PL pointed out, it was absolutely necessary to have Stuyver (because of “One Hand’s” doubtful orders).

But, in retrospect, perhaps the “political risk” of not having Dannie outweighed that other risk.  In Tradistan, politics – and the power and money it brings – reigns supreme.  In Tradistan, politics has always outweighed principles.  Also, like it or not, Big Don’s and Dannie’s fates are intertwined, because they are both seen as one entity by much of Tradistan.  So, keeping their political alliance alive (at least for the time being) was probably to their mutual advantage.  (The Jellyfish might have been a “safer” ecclesiastical choice; but, given the enmity of the Highlanders for Big Don, it was a bad political one.  So, Big Don probably chose “the lesser of two evils” by having Dannie as a co-consecrator instead of Neville.)

² One might also think of the Jellyfish as being part of “the old regime” – intertwined with both SGG and MHT.  But his “relationship” with both of them has always been “tentative” at best (and, lately, pretty well non-existent).  Besides, Jelly really doesn’t need either of them: he comes from money, so that’s not a problem for him.  And given the estrangement of his “Highlander” folks with Big Don – and the fact that Donny is on his way out – there’s no longer any material benefit in Jelly’s being chummy with Big Don.  (And as for being chummy with Dannie and Tony, they can offer him no material benefit as well.)

³ The general consensus among many traddies is that Joey never really had much use for Dannie (or Tony) anyway.  And, now that he’s got his miter, Joey loses little by “cutting the cord” with those two.  Funny, isn’t it?  Dannie did the same thing to Pivvy: used him to get his miter, then dumped him.  And now, it seems, Dannie may end up reaping what he has sown!  [Well folks, perhaps there is such a thing as “poetic justice after all!]