The Latest “Must Have” Non-Essential: SGG’s “Ordo”

Pistrina Liturgica recently reported that Dannie and Tony’s newest ecclesiastical venture is the commissioning of an “ordo.”  And just what is an ordo?  It is, as their article explained, the annual calendar (in mostly abbreviated Latin) with instructions for the daily recitation of the Breviary and the celebration of Mass.  It is intended not for the laity, but for clergy, and thus has very limited circulation potential.  Now it just so happens that there are other perfectly adequate ordines already existing.  So why is Dannie commissioning this new one?

The obvious reason is that he’s doing it for prestige.  After Tony’s other offerings (WHH et al) have been such train wrecks, SGG was in dire need of “rehab” for its tarnished “scholastic” image – and a relatively “safe” way to get it was to publish this ordo.  Since ordines are written in Latin (and fairly “technical” Latin at that), this would seem to many as an impressive piece of work, and a sign of real “scholarship,” because -- if an outfit is competent enough to publish an ordo -- then its people must “really know their stuff,” right?   And since Tony & Co. will simply be copying much of it from other ordines, there is minimal chance that they’ll flub the Latin (as Tony did on WHH et al) -- right?  WRONG.

As Pistrina initially discovered, even the cover page of SGG’s ordo – the page the public notices first (and THE page “you want to get right”) -- had glaring, school-boy Latin errors in it (click here) as did much of the rest of it (click here).  So, SGG’s attempt to pass themselves off as a real “Latinists” (and thereby recoup their tarnished reputation) has flopped again.  Chances are, there’ll be many more errors (even though the ordo is largely a “copy job” from another existing ordo).  But Dannie doesn’t care.  He knows that his culties will see it as a work of “erudition” (and some might even be stupid enough to buy it, even though they haven’t the foggiest notion of what its about – or what to do with it).

Dannie also hopes that, mistake-ridden or not, the sponsoring of an “official ordo” will be seen as an impressive “Catholic undertaking” in itself.  Most traditional clergy, of course (and laity who are really familiar with ordines), realize that copying an already existing ordo is not a sign of “scholarship” (Latin or otherwise), and hence won’t be impressed.  However, it will certainly impress the brain-dead (and possibly a few more too) – and that’s all that Dannie cares about.*  He knows that SGG’s claim to being “scholarly” – especially their reputation as  “Latinists” and “theologians,” is in tatters to the point where even the rank-and-file Gerties now doubt it.  So, this “ordo” just might salvage their reputation to some degree – at least enough to keep his Gerties donating.  And for Dannie, that’s “close enough.”

Now this might get Dannie some short-term gains – but what if it’s a total flop?  Earlier, we mused, “chances are, there be many more errors.”  Well, as it turns out, there are (and which Pistrina will be categorizing in subsequent posts).  But even if there weren’t, what made Dannie think that what is mostly a copy job of an earlier work would impress the world-at-large – especially when that earlier work is far superior?  What Dannie and Tony have given the world is another cement life preserver -- another set of pre-flattened automobile tires.  Their newest scheme has about as much chance of “success” as does an Islamic State recruiting pamphlet in Tel Aviv.  In the long run (actually the not-so-long run), Dannie’s new opus will only serve to embarrass him, and to reinforce SGG’s image as a bunch of buffoons.

This new effort, like all their other efforts, is doomed to failure – not just because it is a bungled effort, but because it was done for the wrong reason: greed.  Dannie and Tony’s focus has always been on one thing: M-O-N-E-Y -- which has always clouded their judgment, and destroyed the very goal they’re after.  And this time around is no different: this new ordo, designed to give them prestige (and therefore ultimately translate into more “business”) will, again, only bring them more embarrassment and grief – and less revenue.

And what, we ask, made Dannie think that his bungling crew of semi-literates would come up with anything worthwhile anyway?  What made him think, after Tony’s previous fiascos, that they could tackle something as “challenging” as an ordo (in spite of the fact that it was largely a copy job)?  And what made him think that their errors would go unnoticed?  (And, did he ever consider that it might also raise the ire of those whose ordo they are copying?)  This new ordo – this new “landmark” [or is it landfill?] effort – will only be “landmark” in the sense that it will probably turn out to be SGG’s biggest fiasco yet -- and destroy what little prestige SGG has left.  In fact, it just may be the event that precipitates SGG’s final downhill slide – that hastens its well-deserved demise.  

After the 2009 school debacle (from which SGG’s prestige took a huge hit), many of SGG’s parishioners left -- including SGG’s biggest benefactor.  We recall, afterwards, that Big Don Sanborn wrote to that man,** sarcastically asking him, “…if you find one of them [Dannie or Tony] as a greeter in Wal-Mart in order to support himself, will you be then satisfied and content?”  Actually, we think that this was a very appropriate question for Donny to ask – and very prescient of him, too -- because, after this latest ordo fiasco, that “greeter” job may be the only one that Dannie or Tony will be able to get.  After all, it’s a job that doesn’t require any Latin skills (real or imagined).  In fact, it requires hardly any brains at all (making it, by the way, ideally suited for any of Big Don’s pest-house completers).  All it really requires is a smiling face.  And, let’s face it: with Dannie’s cheesy grin, he’d be a shoo-in for the job!  So, our advice to him is:  Go for it, Dannie!

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* Indeed, one of Dannie’s culties, writing a caustic e-mail to Pistrina (after its first article slamming SGG’s ordo), said, “It is positively sinful how you trashed Bishop Dolan's and Father Cekada's ORDO 2016 over just a few silly typographical errors.  They are trying to keep the Faith alive which is more than you nasties are doing, you are killing it....If you know so much, why don't you publish an Ordo so priests can say Holy Mass to keep sinners like you from burning in hell?” 

Of course, as Pistrina later pointed out in a follow-up article, it wasn’t just a case of “typographical errors.”  Pistrina also answered this idiot’s challenge – “why don't you publish an Ordo so priests can say Holy Mass to keep sinners like you from burning in hell?” -- by pointing out that there was a far more competently written ordo already existing, so why produce another?    The e-mail also illustrates the ignorance of this moron in equating the writing of this ordo with “trying to keep the Faith alive” – and equating opposition to it as meriting “burning in hell.”

The writing of an error-filled ordo, when there is already a better one out there, does not constitute “trying to keep the Faith alive.”  On the contrary, what it constitutes is an obvious attempt to gain prestige by profiting at someone else’s expense – not exactly an “altruistic motive.”  So, if there is anyone “burning in hell” over this, it is Dannie and his accomplices – for concocting such a nakedly mercenary scheme.  However, we thank that moron for his (or her) e-mail, for it gave Pistrina the opportunity to reinforce its point that, in the case of SGG’s ordo, it is NOT just a matter of “typographical errors” – which will become more and more embarrassingly evident as more errors are uncovered.  Thus, this moron has given Pistrina the chance to expose the cult-masters once again for the buffoons that they are.

** The parishioner to whom Sanborn wrote his letter was Bernie Brueggemann, who – along with about half the parish – left SGG after the 2009 school scandals.  Bombastic Don tried every “guilt-trip” trick he could think of to get Bernie to feel guilty – but the ruse didn’t work.  Luckily, we have preserved that letter, which showcases the Donster’s intimidating and manipulative style.  This letter is also damaging to Sanborn in that it was written to a man who was loved and revered by everyone – even by those hard-core culties still there at SGG -- which makes Big Don look all the more like the bullying maggot he is.  Little did the Donster realize, when he wrote his diatribe, that it would come to be a total embarrassment for him – just as this ordo will be for Dannie and Tony.