This past week, two serendipitous things
happened: first, this writer was alerted to Daniel Dolan’s “Bishop’s Corner”
article in this past Sunday’s (Nov. 24) SGG (St. Gertrude the Great) church bulletin;
and secondly, yours truly ran across another website that he didn’t know
existed. An associate told this
writer to read this particular Bishop’s
Corner, the reason being that it was particularly nauseating. It not
only struck me in that respect, but it also jogged my memory back to the time when
the website “VoVWatch.com”* was extant – for reasons that will be explained
forthwith. That website had a
weekly feature called “Viper’s Den,” which was a parody of Dolan’s Bishop’s Corner – a parody that was (of
course) not only satirical, but also dead-on accurate (and, at times, hilariously funny!) -- and whose
brilliant, incisive satire was made all
the more brilliant by the fact
that it was written the very same morning
that Dolan’s Bishop’s Corner appeared
in SGG’s bulletin.
I thought to myself, “Wow, we could have really had a “field day” with this Bishop’s Corner!!!”
This particularly ponderous article contained all the usual falderal:
references to (of course!) the weather
(Dannie must be a frustrated meteorologist!), comments about a procession (he must be a frustrated
drum-major, too!), along with other extraneous “small talk”: waxing savoringly
about how good the Chili was at a recent SGG “get-down” (as if he habitually
partook of such fare with the peasants), and thanking everyone but the parking
lot attendant for their servitude performed during his latest liturgical
extravaganza – even thanking someone for having “straightened out our crooked
candelabra.”
He even managed to squeeze in some more of
his usual effeminate (and irrelevant) crap about his cats, Caravaggio and Puccini (Vivaldi must have been away at the kitty
spa, getting his claws done – or perhaps he ran into one of those coyotes that
Dannie mentioned in his soliloquy).
And, of course, everything was seasoned with fulsome flattery and his
trademark syrupy sanctimony, as if his audience were -- instead of a
congregation of mature adults -- a Sunday School class of kindergartners,
waiting, like so many unfledged sparrows with mouths wide open, to gulp down
his latest morsels of regurgitated mediocrity.
They say that “a spoonful of sugar makes the
medicine go down”; and for bad
medicine, one needs lots of it.
This was the case for this Sunday’s Bishop’s
Corner article: Dannie needed to slip some bits of swill down the gullets of
his fledglings, so he camouflaged it with lots of “sugar” to make it go down
unnoticed. The first “bit” slipped
in was his mention of the “Sacrament whose
valid celebration is the very raison
d’ĂȘtre of our existence at St. Gertrude the Great.” The key word here, folks, is “valid”:
this was Dannie’s not-so-sly way of trying to convince the flock of the
validity of his dubious ordination – and, by extension, the validity of Bede Nkamuke’s
ordination. And it probably worked
– as it always does on those whose minds have been anesthetized by years of
preconditioning. But for the rest
of us, Dannie, no amount of sugar will make that medicine go down!
The other bit of Bishop’s Corner
“medicine” – make that mendacity –
was Dolan’s (unwittingly hilarious)
reference to “Father’s [Cekada’s] trademark precision.” Precision??!!! Who are you trying to kid, Dannie? “A spoonful
of sugar?” This’ll take a metric
ton!! Tony has all the
“precision” of a blind spastic performing brain surgery -- with a hammer in one
hand, and a vial of nitro-glycerin in the other! Dannie’s use of the word was, of course, a veiled (and vain)
attempt by him to legitimize Tony’s pathetic defense of his one-handed
“ordination.” Sorry, Dannislaus,
but that just won’t wash – or were you referring to Checkie’s “precision” on Schiavo or WHH? Either way, we’re talking “NO
way!” Please, Dannie, don’t
embarrass yourself like that again!
In the aforementioned “VoVWatch.com” website, the “VoV” stood for
“Vipers of Vaudeville” – a reference to Dolan and Cekada. It was a phrase coined by the man who first brought to everyone’s
attention the abuses that were going on at SGG – abuses which Dolan and Cekada
not only ignored, but which they were an integral part of. The moniker “Vipers of Vaudeville” is
appropriate for two reasons: first, they behave
like vipers; and second, their chicanery was (and is) so amateurishly done,
that it’s like a bad Vaudeville act.
But bad or no, they are not an “act”: they
are deadly serious – and they have done much mischief – mischief which has been
brought to light not only by Lay Pulpit,
but by yet another website (the one
that this writer mentioned “running across” at the beginning of this
article). This website is
significant in that it is yet another “data point.” That is, it provides independent documented proof corroborating that which Lay Pulpit has also proved -- that the
dynamic duo have indeed lied – except
that, this time, the lies have signatures
affixed to them.
It is a still extant dissident website,
put up by ousted members of SGG’s satellite church in Milwaukee (St. Hugh of Lincoln), documenting
instances of lying not just by
Cekada, but by one of his underlings (Fr. Charles McGuire) as well. One such instance involved something
that Cekada said in his online “Quidlibet” column, where he denied dismissing four SHL parishioners
-- calling their charges “more lies and
distortions,” and “more hogwash,
indeed, more fantasy” [Cekada’s words and
bold emphasis] -- when there was written proof (by his own hand) that he did so (in letters to those parishioners).
There were two letters: one written to
three parishioners, the other to a fourth
– both of which were registered with the local police department, and both of
which were signed by Cekada and
by his dutifully acquiescent weasel, Charlie McGuire. These letters, coupled with the website’s other article,
constitute a proven, embarrassing truth
that the dynamic duo, their spineless boot-licker Charlie, or their brain-blanked,
rubber-stamping cultlings may obstinately deny (or defy), but which no one else
can – that is, anyone who abides by the rules of rational logic. Moreover, it is evidence that they
cannot erase -- a mortifying fact
that will remain for as long as the dissident SHL website
stands.
In addition to the St. Hugh of Lincoln
website, there are others which, though now defunct, have documented even more
of Dolan and Cekada’s “escapades” – and we will be resurrecting and preserving
them in due course (and referring to them from time to time). Meanwhile, my advice to Dannie and Tony
is – if they want to stop embarrassing themselves – that they had better 1) sew
each other’s lips shut, 2) put each other’s “writing” arm in a permanent sling,
or 3) both of the above. But if
they do write something, we suggest
that they at least do not “archive” it (lest it be used as “ammo” against them
later on). However, they will
probably not heed that advice.
“And for that,” as they say, “we are eternally grateful!”