Serendipity

This past week, two serendipitous things happened: first, this writer was alerted to Daniel Dolan’s “Bishop’s Corner” article in this past Sunday’s (Nov. 24) SGG (St. Gertrude the Great) church bulletin; and secondly, yours truly ran across another website that he didn’t know existed.  An associate told this writer to read this particular Bishop’s Corner, the reason being that it was particularly nauseating.  It not only struck me in that respect, but it also jogged my memory back to the time when the website “VoVWatch.com”* was extant – for reasons that will be explained forthwith.  That website had a weekly feature called “Viper’s Den,” which was a parody of Dolan’s Bishop’s Corner – a parody that was (of course) not only satirical, but also dead-on accurate (and, at times, hilariously funny!) -- and whose brilliant, incisive satire was made all the more brilliant by the fact that it was written the very same morning that Dolan’s Bishop’s Corner appeared in SGG’s bulletin. 

I thought to myself, “Wow, we could have really had a “field day” with this Bishop’s Corner!!!”  This particularly ponderous article contained all the usual falderal: references to (of course!) the weather (Dannie must be a frustrated meteorologist!), comments about a procession (he must be a frustrated drum-major, too!), along with other extraneous “small talk”: waxing savoringly about how good the Chili was at a recent SGG “get-down” (as if he habitually partook of such fare with the peasants), and thanking everyone but the parking lot attendant for their servitude performed during his latest liturgical extravaganza – even thanking someone for having “straightened out our crooked candelabra.”

He even managed to squeeze in some more of his usual effeminate (and irrelevant) crap about his cats, Caravaggio and Puccini (Vivaldi must have been away at the kitty spa, getting his claws done – or perhaps he ran into one of those coyotes that Dannie mentioned in his soliloquy).  And, of course, everything was seasoned with fulsome flattery and his trademark syrupy sanctimony, as if his audience were -- instead of a congregation of mature adults -- a Sunday School class of kindergartners, waiting, like so many unfledged sparrows with mouths wide open, to gulp down his latest morsels of regurgitated mediocrity.

They say that “a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down”; and for bad medicine, one needs lots of it.  This was the case for this Sunday’s Bishop’s Corner article: Dannie needed to slip some bits of swill down the gullets of his fledglings, so he camouflaged it with lots of “sugar” to make it go down unnoticed.  The first “bit” slipped in was his mention of the “Sacrament whose valid celebration is the very raison d’être of our existence at St. Gertrude the Great.”  The key word here, folks, is “valid”: this was Dannie’s not-so-sly way of trying to convince the flock of the validity of his dubious ordination – and, by extension, the validity of Bede Nkamuke’s ordination.  And it probably worked – as it always does on those whose minds have been anesthetized by years of preconditioning.  But for the rest of us, Dannie, no amount of sugar will make that medicine go down!

The other bit of Bishop’s Corner “medicine” – make that mendacity – was Dolan’s (unwittingly hilarious) reference to “Father’s [Cekada’s] trademark precision.” Precision??!!!  Who are you trying to kid, Dannie?  “A spoonful of sugar?”  This’ll take a metric ton!!  Tony has all the “precision” of a blind spastic performing brain surgery -- with a hammer in one hand, and a vial of nitro-glycerin in the other!  Dannie’s use of the word was, of course, a veiled (and vain) attempt by him to legitimize Tony’s pathetic defense of his one-handed “ordination.”  Sorry, Dannislaus, but that just won’t wash – or were you referring to Checkie’s “precision” on Schiavo or WHH?  Either way, we’re talking “NO way!”  Please, Dannie, don’t embarrass yourself like that again!

In the aforementioned “VoVWatch.com” website, the “VoV” stood for “Vipers of Vaudeville” – a reference to Dolan and Cekada.  It was a phrase coined by the man who first brought to everyone’s attention the abuses that were going on at SGG – abuses which Dolan and Cekada not only ignored, but which they were an integral part of.  The moniker “Vipers of Vaudeville” is appropriate for two reasons: first, they behave like vipers; and second, their chicanery was (and is) so amateurishly done, that it’s like a bad Vaudeville act. 

But bad or no, they are not an “act”: they are deadly serious – and they have done much mischief – mischief which has been brought to light not only by Lay Pulpit, but by yet another website (the one that this writer mentioned “running across” at the beginning of this article).  This website is significant in that it is yet another “data point.”  That is, it provides independent documented proof corroborating that which Lay Pulpit has also proved -- that the dynamic duo have indeed lied – except that, this time, the lies have signatures affixed to them. 

It is a still extant dissident website, put up by ousted members of SGG’s satellite church in Milwaukee (St. Hugh of Lincoln), documenting instances of lying not just by Cekada, but by one of his underlings (Fr. Charles McGuire) as well.  One such instance involved something that Cekada said in his online “Quidlibet” column, where he denied dismissing four SHL parishioners -- calling their charges “more lies and distortions,” and “more hogwash, indeed, more fantasy” [Cekada’s words and bold emphasis] -- when there was written proof (by his own hand) that he did so (in letters to those parishioners).

There were two letters: one written to three parishioners, the other to a fourth – both of which were registered with the local police department, and both of which were signed by Cekada and by his dutifully acquiescent weasel, Charlie McGuire.  These letters, coupled with the website’s other article, constitute a proven, embarrassing truth that the dynamic duo, their spineless boot-licker Charlie, or their brain-blanked, rubber-stamping cultlings may obstinately deny (or defy), but which no one else can – that is, anyone who abides by the rules of rational logic.  Moreover, it is evidence that they cannot erase -- a mortifying fact that will remain for as long as the dissident SHL website stands.

In addition to the St. Hugh of Lincoln website, there are others which, though now defunct, have documented even more of Dolan and Cekada’s “escapades” – and we will be resurrecting and preserving them in due course (and referring to them from time to time).  Meanwhile, my advice to Dannie and Tony is – if they want to stop embarrassing themselves – that they had better 1) sew each other’s lips shut, 2) put each other’s “writing” arm in a permanent sling, or 3) both of the above.  But if they do write something, we suggest that they at least do not “archive” it (lest it be used as “ammo” against them later on).  However, they will probably not heed that advice.  “And for that,” as they say, “we are eternally grateful!”

The Real Audience – and What They Must Do

This website (as well as others) has written often about the deeds – make that the misdeeds – of Daniel Dolan and Anthony Cekada: Cekada’s catastrophe about Schiavo and his bogus (and hypocritical) defense of Dolan’s “ordination,” and the dynamic duo’s “SGG escapades,” which include dismissing blatant immorality as “boys will be boys,” and turning a deaf ear to the pleas of parishioners whose children were mistreated by a sadistic school principal (actions which cost Dolan half his congregation).  We have mentioned them often – over and over -- to the point where the dynamic duo (and, I’m sure, many at SGG) are complaining, “Why are you harping about all of this again?”  The reason is simple: because it is the truth, and it needs to be said, and often – again and again – so that it cannot be “swept under the rug” by the dynamic duo, or “explained away” by their followers who wallow in perpetual denial and/or “selective amnesia.”

But the more important reason for keeping it in front of the public eye is just that: there is a public out there who need to be informed and warned – both the not-yet-informed who could become the dynamic duo’s potential victims, and the already informed who need occasional reminding, lest they forget.  It is, nowadays, a sad fact that what is “out of sight” is “out of mind”; and if something is not constantly kept in front of the public eye, it is quickly forgotten.  As they say, “repetition is the mother of memory.”  But the most important reason for speaking up is that one has a moral obligation to do so, for to be silent and acquiescent in the face of wrongdoing – and not to warn those who are in harm’s way – is to be complicit in that wrongdoing.

“But,” one of the dynamic duo’s apologists might say, “lately, they have been ‘behaving themselves,’ so why keeping harping on ‘old news’?”  Firstly, such a claim would constitute an admission that they did “misbehave” in the past; and there is plenty of real evidence that they did, including eye-witness testimony from the scores of people they’ve victimized, plus written verification of it (some coming from their own lips) -- behavior for which they have absolutely no remorse (much less, have admitted to), and for which they have never apologized (as, of course, Cekada has never done on Schiavo).  Besides, it is not certain that they are “behaving themselves” right now*; and their obsequious cultlings – who are all that are left at SGG (now that everyone else has been scared away) – would probably not admit of any chicanery anyway, just for “solidarity’s” sake.

Another objection to criticism of Dolan and Cekada is the old “Alter Christus” argument, i.e., that they are “men of the cloth” who should not be “slandered” – and that, their “misdeeds” notwithstanding, they constitute a “valid source of the sacraments.”  Well, if they were “the only game in town,” that might be (but really isn’t) a valid argument – because people who live in that area have several valid and legitimate alternatives instead:  churches whose priests not only celebrate a valid Tridentine Mass (and who can even put on a “good show”), but who stand up for Catholic morality as well.  (To be sure, there is nothing wrong per se with a “good show,” i.e., with ornate ceremony -- but not at expense of utterly disregarding Catholic morality.)

It is obvious, from both the dynamic duo’s past and present behavior, that these tigers do not intend to change their stripes; nor is it likely that the intransigent “hard-core” at SGG will change their views as well.  So, they may again ask, “Why are you bringing all of this up again?  You are not going to convince us, whatever you say – so leave us alone!”  Yes, it is probably true that they won’t be convinced; but we will not “leave it alone” – because, to repeat, the dynamic duo and their cultlings are not our primary audience: there is a public out there, for whom we “sound the alarm,” so that they do not become the dynamic duo’s next “exploitees.”  They are our real audience. 

And that “real audience” includes especially traddieland’s clergy, because they must not only be warned, but must warn others.  It is they, the “shepherds who tend the flocks” -- the ones to whom people look for spiritual guidance and support -- who need to hear the message, because it is they who have the responsibility, nay, the obligation, to protect the innocent from such exploitation.  It is they who must take the lead, and they must act.  Acquiescence in the face of evil will no longer do.  Those who do not speak up and act become accomplices in the dynamic duo’s skullduggery – and they will be judged accordingly.

That being said, the writer realizes that there is a “time to speak up” – and that one must use discretion in “knowing when.”  But isn’t that time now?  When Cekada uttered his infamous drivel about Schiavo, there should have been a resounding chorus of condemnation – but there was but a whimper.  And when the horrific events of 2007-2009 took place at SGG, many were made aware of it – and deplored it – but few really did anything about it.  For the most part, they just sat back, hid in the wings, and watched it happen.  And now that Cekada’s lame defense of Dolan’s one-handed “ordination” has been exposed as the sham that it is, many have privately acknowledged it – but few have publicly done anything about it.  [Editor’s note: Cekada’s defense of Dolan’s one-handed “ordination” is not only a sham, but it is hypocritical as well, as a recent Pistrina article reveals: Phony Tony argues that his boss does not need to take the “safe course” and get re-ordained, while insisting that it is required in someone else’s case.]  

Simply lamenting wrongdoing is not enough.  The time for that is over.  It is time to turn apathy into action. We can continue to let ourselves be slowly asphyxiated by “insidious gradualism” -- and “go down the toilet” a little bit at a time -- or we can come to the realization that things have “gone far enough.”  One of the hazards of initial acquiescence is that it grows into complacency, and then into permanent inaction.  We cannot afford to let this happen, if we are to avoid permanent damage.  And some damage has already occurred – especially among SGG’s youth.  Many of them, when they’re old enough to “know what’s going on,” are seeing through Dolan and Cekada’s phoniness and “double standard” behavior (and spreading the word by “networking” with their friends) – and have been “turned off” by it.  And many have become disillusioned by it – to the point where it is destroying their faith.

Many are “revolting” – in major ways: one is now in the Peace Corps, in some third-world country, involved with “population management” (i.e., handing out condoms, disseminating birth-control info, etc.).  Another has had two children out of wedlock, while yet another has turned lesbian.  These are just a few “samples” of what Dolan and Cekada’s brand of “Catholicism” has wrought -- the “fruits of their labors.”  Their actions have not produced “good Catholic families”; they have done the opposite: they have destroyed them.  By their immoral “double standard” behavior, they have scandalized (and disillusioned) the young; and by their “cult” tactics -- coercion, intimidation, “guilt-tripping,” and enforcing divisive shibboleths such as “una cum” -- they have managed to scatter, not unite, their flock: splitting up whole families, turning sibling against sibling, cousin against cousin, and even parents against their offspring. 

It’s time to stop pretending that “all is well” and that “things will somehow work out.”  All is NOT well.  It is time for the dynamic duo’s followers who are wallowing in denial to stop pretending that Dolan and Cekada are “basically good men” (or pretending that what they have done “never really happened”).  And it is time for the rest of us to realize that simply “ignoring” them will not work.  One does not cure a cancer by ignoring it or by “wishing it away.”  It will not go away by itself; it will continue to fester until it is dealt with. 

Nor can anyone claim “ignorance” as an excuse: all have been made painfully aware of the dynamic duo’s deeds (and words) – so “ignorance” won’t work, nor will such platitudes as “It’s premature to act right now” or “it’s not as simple as that,” etc.  These are only delay tactics designed to “put it off until tomorrow” – to ensure that “tomorrow” never comes.  The question must be asked: how long does one remain silent?  Silence in the face of wrongdoing – when one can prevent it -- is acquiescence, and acquiescence equates to aiding and abetting.  Is it right to let an evil continue, and hope that it goes away by itself?  Are we to sit back and succumb to “insidious gradualism” -- to “sit back and let it happen” – or will we face it and deal with it?  I think that you know the answers to those questions.

__________________________

*Dolan’s recent decision to ordain a young African seminarian is one indication of this: that nothing has really changed.  Instead of having Sanborn perform the ordination, which would have allayed all the fears about the ceremony being valid (because of Dolan’s one-handed “ordination” itself being doubtful), Dannie chose to perform the ceremony himself.  He was no doubt aware of all the recently unearthed proof that his own ordination is doubtful (because Cekada’s bogus “defense” of it was such an unconvincing conglomeration of mistranslation and misinformation); but he doesn’t care.  He chose to do perform the ceremony anyway, ignoring the repeated pleas for “taking the safe route” -- just as he did years ago, when his fellow priests implored him to do so -- and having Sanborn do it instead.  Dannie had to do it – just to show the world that he was still “the boss” – and to defy and spite his “doubters”; his pride and his arrogance would not permit him to do otherwise (just as Cekada’s pride and arrogance won’t let him recant his position on Schiavo).

Why Stop at Paver Stones?

With the anticipated sales of Anthony Cekada’s WHH (Work of Human Hands) tanking as they have, the marketing moguls at SGG (St. Gertrude the Great Church) have had to turn to new ways of squeezing blood from the proverbial turnip.  Well, just when it seemed that they had run out of ideas – poof! – they have come up with what they hope will be a successful fund-raising ploy: memorial paver bricks!!  The idea here is that one can remember a loved one – living or deceased – by purchasing an “inscribed memorial stone” to adorn SGG’s cloister walkway.  And “loved ones” include (according to SGG’s ad on its website) not just relatives and friends, but veterans, war dead, military units (?), favorite saints (?), and “the forgotten” (i.e., just about anybody) – all for the paltry sum of $75 a brick!  (Wow, what a bargain!)  Oh, and if you’re an “out-of-towner” and can’t make it there to actually see your brick, they’ll send you a photo of it (double wow!).

The “beauty part” of pavers is that they are “no-brainers,” i.e., they require no “authorship” on anyone’s part.  There’s no “treatise” to write, hence no risk of Tony’s botched, mistranslated Latin coming into play, nor any of his arrogant, puerile rhetoric – just simple, carved inscriptions.  Not only that: unlike WHH, one gets – according to SGG’s website ad – “graces” for buying a paver.  And in SGG’s wonderful fantasy world of “anything goes” Epikeia, that can include just about anything: an indulgence – perhaps even a plenary indulgence – or even a “boys-will-be-boys” dispensation that whitewashes one’s next act of carnal immorality or sadism.   

Also, pavers are great “peer pressure” devices: when one parishioner buys a paver, others will then feel obligated to do the same.  Until one buys a brick, the very fact that one's name doesn’t yet appear on the walkway labels him as a “non-participant”  -- thereby providing a built-in incentive for shaming him into buying a brick.  But, you know, the cloister walkway is only so long; and, eventually, it’ll be filled to capacity.  No problem!  There’s the walkway from the rectory to the church!  And how about the parking lot?!  And, to ensure filling them up, what about expanding “loved ones” to include animals too – a favorite pet, for instance?  Or, how about getting a memorial stone to commemorate Puccini, Vivaldi, or Caravaggio (SGG’s resident pet cats)?  (Look at the brownie points this would get one with the cult-masters!)

And, while we’re on the subject of critters, remember that SGG’s grotto pond happens to contain critters (fish, that is); and, occasionally, these fish die (either from natural causes, or from “attrition” at the hands of Puccini, Vivaldi, or Caravaggio) -- and therefore need to be “replenished” now and then.  So, there you have it: yet another golden fund-raising opportunity!  One could sponsor a “replacement fish” (let’s call it “adopt-a-carp”!).  And as each “replacement” fish dies, it gets replaced for, say, two hundred bucks a pop.  And remember also, that each dead fish automatically qualifies as a “memorial critter” for yet another paver brick – doubling the fund-raising potential!

But why stop at memorial paver bricks (or critter sponsoring)?  There are other commemorative “themes” that could be exploited too: how about commemorative floor tiles in the church?  Commemorative pews? And in a variation on the old “pay toilets” theme, how about requiring people (who use the restrooms) to pay for the privilege?  And how about – if they leave church to use the restroom (or tend to a crying baby) during the sermon – how about letting them come back in before the sermon is finished (which they’re currently not allowed to do) – but charging them double for it?

To be sure, these suggested “fund-raising ideas” – offered, of course, in jest -- seem far-fetched; but, in principle, they’re no more far-fetched than the “pavers” idea: they’re all unnecessary, “non-value-added” creations.  The cloister walkway, by the way, is already “paved” -- so why do it again?  But that doesn’t matter; the two SGG “shepherds” don’t need a reason – a good reason, at least -- as long as it increases their revenue.  SGG’s website is crammed with solicitations for donations (and suggested ways to do so).  So, it is only a matter of time before more “imaginative” alternatives of revenue generation (not very dissimilar to the ones facetiously suggested here) take root in the fertile minds of the dynamic duo.

In lieu of fund-raising alternatives, however, may we suggest – not in jest, but in dead earnest – that they try taking Ben Franklin’s advice of “A penny saved is a penny earned,” and stop spending and start curtailing.  What was the need for a 2000 sq. ft. rectory (big enough to accommodate four or five bedrooms) to house two priests, each with his own 20+ ft. bedroom, private full bath, and walk-in closet?  And what was the need for the rectory to be outfitted with three (yes, three) HVAC (Heating, Ventilating, and Air Conditioning) “climate zones” (while SGG’s church vestibule is kept unheated during the cold winter months for its “crying room” mothers)?  What was the need for “pilgrimages” or “sabbaticals” to a $400/night resort in the desert Southwest, or for yearly “apostolates” to Europe and Latin America?  Why did SGG’s pastor and assistant pastor have to dine regularly at upscale restaurants?  And why did they have to celebrate separate “silver jubilees” (of their priestly ordinations) at what is arguably the most opulent (and expensive) venue in town: the Palm Court in downtown Cincinnati’s premier hotel?

Now they (or one of their cultlings) might argue that they were entitled to all those goodies; and SGG’s parishioners might also argue that they too were invited to those “jubilees”; and, hence, the money was spent on them as well.   Yes, that is true – but the “sheep” were served the cheaper wines, while the “shepherds” got “the good stuff”; and the twenty thousand dollars or so that went for each “jubilee” could have been better spent on heating SGG’s vestibule so that its shivering “crying room” mothers wouldn’t have to “offer it up” while their “shepherds” sit comfy in a well-heated church (or in their rectory “climate zones”).

Now before one of SGG’s cultlings accuses this writer of complaining “about the money spent on God,” the twenty thousand dollars or so spent at these jubilees (or the money spent at the Bishop’s Lodge, or at the La Petite France, Iron Horse Inn, and Grand Finalé restaurants) was NOT spent on God, but on the comfort and gratification of two men.  They may also argue that Dolan and Cekada no longer regularly dine at fine restaurants.  This may be true, too – but they would if they could.  The fact is -- now that they’re no longer being underwritten by the family who used to be their main benefactor (but who became disgusted with them and left) -- they can no longer afford the extravagances of “the good old days.”  (Perhaps, then, the “pavers” will help bring back some of yesteryear’s “luster”!)

But the fact also is, people are getting fed up with privileged clergy’s extravagance at the expense of cash-strapped parishioners who are expected to bankroll that sort of thing.  Just recently in the news, the Novus Ordo Bishop of Bling (Germany) was suspended for spending $42 million to renovate his “residence.”  The faithful of his diocese RIGHTFULLY revolted (and, reportedly, are now leaving in droves).  But I’m sure that the SGG “apologists” will find some way to interpret these peoples’ reaction as “Judas-like,” just as an anonymous “commenter” did the same with the author of the Pistrina Liturgica blog, who mentioned the Bishop of Bling’s extravagance on that website (and who rightfully likened it to the extravagance of some “traddie” clergy). 

That “commenter” stated that “back in the good old days,” the faithful always “provided well” for their clergy.  Well, I would like to remind this “commenter” that back in the real “good old days” (i.e., when Our Lord walked this earth), He reminded His apostles that “the first shall be last, and the last shall be first.”  He did not promise them a life of luxury, or even a life of modest comfort; He promised them a life of hardship and sacrifice (and, for most of them, martyrdom).  Our Lord did not live in a European palace, or in a three-climate-zone rectory – nor did He intend for anyone else to; He set the example of humility for the apostles to follow – which they did.

But, as history shows, His divine institution fell prey to worldly men, who did not follow that example, but who all too often followed a worldly path, where, in time, the Church came to be not an avenue for spiritual growth, but a way for nobles’ sons (other than the first-borns who “got the manor house”) to “get ahead.”   The abuses of the late Middle Ages are well-documented: simony, lay Investiture, and the worldly pursuits of Church prelates, including several popes – abuses which ultimately led to the split-up of Christendom.  It was this, by the way -- the Protestant Revolt, not the anticlericalism of Voltaire and others in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries (as another “commenter” on the Pisrina blog erroneously contended) – that turned people against the worldliness of the Church.  (Voltaire and his “Enlightenment” buddies – the Illuminati -- were more about Rationalism and opposition to kings than about opposition to clerical opulence per se).

It is ironic that the building of St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome – which was to be the visible symbol of "the Church triumphant” – signaled the beginning of its downward slide.  The selling of indulgences (and that’s what it was in many cases) to provide funds for St. Peter’s was the “final straw” that convinced people of what they had suspected for some time: that it was more about building an impressive edifice -- about “the show,” about money -- than about the Faith.  That, probably even more so than the doctrinal arrows slung by Calvin et al, is what split Christendom asunder; Luther and the Protestant Revolt were largely Frankensteins of the Church’s own making.

Only after the Church got back to its spiritual roots – with people like St. Francis of Assisi and St. Ignatius of Loyola, who did their best to purge it of its worldliness – did it start to flourish again.  And it will continue to flourish only if it sticks to this formula.  There is nothing wrong with beautiful rites and rubrics per se – but putting on elaborate pageantry while ignoring Catholic morality are not what Catholicism is all about.  The SGG duo are counterfeit not so much because of their extravagant lifestyle (although that is certainly part of it), but because they really aren’t Catholic.  If they were, they’d care about the dignity of life – Terri Schiavo’s life -- and they wouldn’t apply a hypocritical double standard when it comes to Catholic morality: dismissing their school principal’s sons’ watching porn (or impregnating a female student) as “boys will be boys,” while having a boy who is not one of the principal’s sons beaten with a wooden paddle because he missed his homework assignment.

No matter how impressive SGG’s “show” is, or how “holy” it seems, the dynamic duo’s sanctimony will never pass for sanctity, nor will their “guilt-tripping” and coercion ever pass for “authority” – and all the hapless “damage control” apologetics mouthed by their fawning followers will not change what they are: unprincipled, self-seeking con men -- unbridled mini-potentates answerable to no one but themselves -- who pursue a worldly agenda, and who will make (and break) whatever rules necessary to get what they want.  The time for men like them is past.  We cannot tolerate such scoundrels; nor can we tolerate -- to borrow Belloc’s words -- a “re-calcification” of Catholicism, where spectacle becomes more important than substance, and where unscrupulous demagogues preach one thing but practice another.

What is needed is men who will lead by example – the Christ-like example of St. Francis and St. Ignatius – not self-appointed authoritarians who don’t practice what they preach (and who can’t even be trusted in what they do preach).  Fortunately, the real audience out there – the clergy who are not part of SGG’s cult clique – are starting to realize this, and are finding out what the “dynamic duo” are all about -- and they are becoming convinced.  And that’s all that really matters.  The dynamic duo’s apologists can continue to wallow in their fantasy of denial -- but the truth is becoming too apparent for them to ignore.  In time, perhaps even they, for their own benefit, will get over their myopic bias and see what everyone else is seeing.

And what about Dolan and Cekada themselves?  Unfortunately, the only practicable way to convince them – or, at least, to stop them – is to starve them, because, to date, appealing to their consciences has not worked.  When confronted with concrete evidence of their misdeeds – of the so many that they have victimized – they have simply ignored it, instead “playing the victim” themselves, and hiding behind a mask of pharisaic piety and false humility – a mask, that when stripped, reveals shameless hypocrisy and duplicity.  The only real hope of “reforming” them – if that is indeed possible -- is for them to be stripped of their worldly riches, i.e.,  to have their revenue flow cut off, forcibly depriving them of the same.  That is the only medicine, it seems, that will effectively work for them.  “For them,” as the late Vince Lombardi might have put, “it’s not the best thing, it’s the only thing.”

It’s All About “The Show” – and About Money

In several previous Lay Pulpit articles, we have commented about Daniel Dolan’s “putting on the show” for his parishioners at SGG (St. Gertrude the Great Church).  It has almost become a cliché.  Well, it might be a cliché, but it is nonetheless true.  “The show,” of course, includes plenty of pontifical pageantry, polyphonic music, and elaborate processions (the one on Palm Sunday, as we’ve noted before, comes complete with donkey).  And SGG’s school is showcased as a “model of propriety”: kids in uniforms (girls’ skirts all “below the knees,” of course), and lots of photos depicting students performing “picture perfect deeds” on cue (to put in SGG’s Sunday bulletin and on its website, for all traddieland to see and admire).  It’s all very impressive, very proper – and it looks very “Catholic.” Also, it’s all very nostalgic, “just like the good old days”: a walk down Catholicism’s “Memory Lane.” 

Beautiful, I must say -- but what about Catholic morality, and especially about Catholic moral theology?  Where does Terri Schiavo fit into their scheme?  When Dolan dismissed watching porn on SGG’s school computer as “boys will be boys,” how “nostalgic” was this?  When he ignored the complaints of numerous parents about the abuse of their children by SGG’s school principal (and his sons), where was Dolan’s sense of moral outrage?  And when one of the school principal’s sons impregnated a fellow female student, was this too a case of “boys will be boys”? (One thing for sure: it was some piece of apparel other than the girl’s dress that got “below the knees” this time!)  Does what happened here call to mind anything about the sixth commandment?  And what were Dolan and Cekada thinking when they dissolved SGG’s satellite parish in Columbus, Ohio, sold it out from under its parishioners, confiscated their building fund and operating fund, and pocketed the proceeds?  Did they, perhaps, stop to think what the seventh commandment had to say about that?  Probably not.

What they were thinking about, instead, was how to maximize their monetary intake – and about how to make it happen.  Caring about Terri Schiavo doesn’t make that happen; it’s not “good for business” -- but elaborate, impressive ceremonies are.  P.T. Barnum-like hoopla is what it’s all about, folks: give ‘em the show; give ‘em -- not Catholicism -- but its caricature.  And why?  Because it works, that’s why.  The SGG clergy (and those like them) know that there is a sizable critical mass of people out there who are gullible, and easily swayed by “spectacle.”  They also know that if they clothe their quackery in ecclesiastical adornment and fulsome sanctimony, they can convince them that it’s “the real thing” -- and many of their parishioners have been swallowing this swill for so long, they can no longer distinguish it from the real thing.

That is why SGG’s parishioners can disregard Dolan’s “boys will be boys” comments, or ignore the abuses of SGG’s school principal and the immorality of his sons. That is why they can pretend that one of the principal’s sons did not father a child with a fellow student (even in the face of irrefutable DNA evidence).  That is why they can pretend that SGG’s confiscation of the Columbus parishioners’ money never really happened (or perhaps they can even justify it).  That is why they can pretend that Dolan and Cekada deserve $400-a-night “sabbaticals” in Santa Fe.  When one is mesmerized, one will believe (or justify) anything.  They have become like putty in their cult-masters hands: they’ll believe or do anything they say.

At SGG, it’s appearances that count: the dynamic duo can insist on the girls’ dresses being below the knees, while disregarding the fact that one girl’s dress obviously got above the knees.  The cult-masters can wax poetic about “protecting our innocent children” on Guardian Angel Sunday, while ignoring the sadistic abuses that SGG’s school kids suffered at the hands of their school principal (and which caused half the parish to leave in protest).  A student missing his homework merits being beaten with a wooden paddle, while another student’s impregnating a girl merits no punishment at all  -- because he is the principal’s son. There is nothing wrong with Terri Schiavo being starved and dehydrated to death, yet an SGG student wearing a polka-dot headband in church (under her veil) was – according to SGG’s school principal -- “inappropriate”; and riding a roller-coaster was – according to one of SGG’s Latino priests -- a mortal sin. 

This is the kind of twisted, puritanical mindset that reigns at SGG, both in its clergy and in its congregation.  They not only cannot recognize good, but they condemn it, while condoning evil.  For example, a man who got justifiably angry at the base lies that Dolan told about his deceased father (and who then called Dolan’s comments “bullshit”), was condemned by an SGG parishioner for using that word; she said that such language was “not Catholic” -- but, of course, she failed to grasp the fact that Dolan’s lying about the man’s father was certainly “not Catholic.”  She also (obviously) forgot about Our Lord getting justifiably angry at times, and calling the Pharisees vipers and thieves.  If she had been living back then, she probably would have been right in there with those Pharisees, condemning the God-Man Himself for using “inappropriate language.” 

But that is what happens with people mired in a cult-centered mindset.  They’ll do (and defend) whatever their cult-masters say -- approving just about everything they do (while overlooking every bit of wrong that they do).  They’ll lap it up, as long as it “looks Catholic” and gives them that warm, fuzzy, nostalgic feeling of “the good old days.” And, of course, they’ll pay dearly for it: they willingly open up their pocket books for all the hoopla and pageantry that goes along with “the show.”  But, of course, that’s what it’s all about: MONEY.  The cult-masters put on the show for the money.  On their websites (and from their pulpits), there are constant exhortations for “donations” and for “remembering us in your will”  (SGG’s website even has a “donate” button, including one for “make automatic monthly donation”).  Their latest fund-raising ploy is commemorative “stones” (pavers in SGG’s “cloister” area) that can be purchased for seventy-five bucks a pop(!).   The soliciting game never stops there; it’s a well-oiled machine -- and it’s always in high gear.

But why do people fall for such pap -- with such blind obedience and groveling subservience?   Why does traddieland seem to have a bumper crop of such people: green, gullible, easily deceived, and just itching to be exploited – willing fodder for unscrupulous impresarios?  Dr. Droleskey, for instance, can do a hatchet job on an innocent man; and, as long as he finishes it off with one of his trademark mini-litanies, it’ll be taken by some for “good Catholic reading.”    It seems that traddieland is full of people who, if they are fed a diet of misinformation, will react in kind: they’ll take sanctimony for sanctity, the show of holiness for holiness itself, and window dressing for the “real thing.”  Are these people really that stupid -- that gullible?  The answer is, “yes and no.” 

Yes, some are -- but some aren’t: some act wrongly out of pride: many at SGG, for instance, certainly recognize by now what the dynamic duo are; they know that Cekada was wrong about Schiavo; they’ve seen (and recognized) his arrogance – but they are too proud to admit that they made an initial misjudgment – that they were “taken in” by him and Dolan.  Instead of leaving SGG, they’ll invent some lame excuse to stay, such as, “Well, we know what they’re like, but we have to go somewhere for the sacraments”  -- even though there are plenty of viable and legitimate alternatives elsewhere available to them.  But they won’t leave.  Even if Padre Pio were saying Mass next door, they’d ignore him, and still patronize the two vipers.

But that’s typical of today’s world -- not just at SGG, not just in traddieland, but everywhere.  People don’t want to appear “foolish” -- to admit that they’ve “been had.”  And if they do get found out (and can’t “get out of it gracefully”), they’ll just clam up and use the “stonewall” approach, or find some other way to ignore the embarrassing reality of the moment: the “Pamela” approach (see The Eleventh  and Twelfth “Commandments”).  The SGG folks are simply a representative microcosm of society in general – of a world that is long on “show” and short on substance – where the appearance of good passes for good itself, and where what is said and what is done are two different things:  today, we are exhorted to “save the planet”” – by rescuing baby otters and preserving the habitats of kangaroo rats, while killing human babies and euthanizing our old.  Today, it’s the planet’s flora and fauna, not its people – not Terri Schiavo – that are what counts.

Traddieland has, in large part, evolved into a disjointed patchwork of competing “centers,” each one a feudal kingdom unto itself, demanding fealty from its flock (and demanding adherence to such “articles of faith” as sedevacantism, “una cum,” and other exclusionary shibboleths to keep the sheep in the cult corral).  They give their people the appearance of Catholicism, but not Catholicism itself: one can ignore every precept of Catholic morality, so long as one buys a commemorative paver stone (or some other monument to one’s ego), or underwrites the cult-masters in some other way. 

Belloc spoke of the “calcification” of the Church in the late Middle Ages, where rites and rubrics -- the “letter of the law” -- took precedence over the spirit of Catholicism, eventually resulting in the Protestant Revolt.  It now seems to be upon us again: what one says is more important than what one does.  But Catholicism is more than elaborate rites and rubrics and “saying all the right buzzwords.”  It is about Catholic morality, Catholic thinking, about actually being Catholic: caring for the sanctity of life – of Terri Schiavo’s life -- and about recognizing sin as sin, not as “boys will be boys.”  For real Catholics, fornication is a sin; riding a roller-coaster is not.  Real Catholicism is not about buying one’s way into heaven by purchasing a memorial paver stone or by saying the right prayers; it is about keeping God’s commandments.  Being the right stuff, not saying the right stuff, is the real “bottom line.”

Worldly, self-seeking cult-masters will only bring ruin to Catholicism: bad trees do not bear good fruit.  Goodness can only come of good men – men who are more interested in their (and others’) souls than in where their next gourmet meal or travel junket is coming from.  Good men must take the lead; and they must rejuvenate today’s re-calcified Catholicism with real Catholic thought, word, and deed – not with sanctimonious pap, and showy pomp and ceremony.  Perhaps then – and only then – will Catholicism stop splintering, and start to unite and heal.  Until that happens, it will only continue its downward spiral into oblivion.  The time has come to stop that downward spiral: to weed out the Barnumesque hucksters and the sanctimonious hypocrites.

But how is such a thing to be accomplished? – by some sort of ecclesiastical equivalent of the political “tea party” movement, where concerned Catholics come together and “take back our Church” from such men?  Or should it be a “from the top down” thing, requiring leadership from above?  The answer is both: a good tree must have good soil in which to grow.  But whichever form it takes, the leading and the following should be done by example -- as Our Lord did – and not by coercion, fear tactics, and “guilt-tripping.”  And just as people have been led astray by bad example, so can they be reclaimed by good example.  It can start small: a mustard seed, planted in good soil, grows into a mighty tree.  In time, the good seed, properly planted and nourished, will prevail, and choke off the parasitic chaff who have been feeding off the faithful for so long.

Dr. (Fr.) Droleskey: Who’s in His “Hidey Hole” Now?

In Thomas Droleskey’s marathon hatchet-job, Retracting Support For Paul Petko, he derisively referred to Bp. Petko as being in his “hidey-hole in Indiana.”  One supposes that this was an attempt at “humor” on Droleskey’s part; if so, it fell short of the mark: it was about as funny as a six-pack of funerals.  Well, it’s now the dastardly doctor’s turn to hunker down in his “hidey-hole”: he has gone and got himself made a priest, and the word is now getting around.  And, for whatever reason, he’s either embarrassed or self-conscious about it, because he gets “hot under the collar” and “snaps” at anyone who even brings up the subject. 

For those who are unfamiliar with Droleskey’s relationship with Bp. Petko, a little history:  a few years ago, Droleskey, after wearing out his welcome at Monroe, Connecticut, then came to the Indianapolis area, where Bp. Petko resides.  While in Monroe, Droleskey wanted to write an article (on his website, Christ or Chaos, about the nuns there; but they said no, they didn’t want any “notoriety.”  This alienated him, so he left).  In Indiana, Droleskey tried the same thing: to get Bp. Petko (and some people he knew) to give him damning information for an “interview” that he wanted to do; they, just as the nuns in Connecticut, didn’t want any notoriety, and so declined.  For that, and for other “infractions,” they “got on the wrong side” of Droleskey.

Eventually, Droleskey found his way to St. Albert the Great Church (“SAG”), in Fairfield, Ohio, whose pastor was Markus Ramolla (who also ran a “seminary” there at SAG) -- whom Droleskey knew from the latter’s days back at “SGG” (St. Gertrude the Great Church).  There, he and Ramolla rekindled a relationship that culminated in their collaboration on a mutually beneficial scheme:  Droleskey wanted revenge on Bp. Petko, while Ramolla had ambitions of becoming a bishop – ambitions which date back to his days at SGG.  Droleskey, in fact, was the original advocate for Ramolla’s bishopric, and he tried to get Bp. Petko to consecrate him.  Petko, however, said no.  This, then, gave Dr. D additional reasons for seeking revenge on Bp. Petko.  Through Droleskey’s contacts with Bp. Slupski, he then contracted with him (Slupski) to “get Ramolla done” (but it was Dymak who actually did the job). 

The way Droleskey chose to hurt Bp. Petko was by getting Ramolla and his seminarians to trump up charges of “inappropriate behavior” against him.  (This not only got Droleskey his “revenge,” but it also removed an obstacle in Ramolla’s path: he wanted to be SAG’s bishop as well as their pastor – but Bp. Petko was their “bishop” at the time.  So, “getting him out of the way” accomplished two goals: Droleskey’s revenge, and Ramolla’s “bishop ambitions.”  The trumped-up charges were led by both Ramolla and Droleskey (but it was the latter who did most of the “orchestrating”).  Bp. Petko was then “tried” at a kangaroo-court “parish meeting,” (that he was forbidden to attend), where his character was totally assassinated.  It wasn’t long afterwards that Droleskey, after crucifying Petko in front of SAG’s entire congregation, then compounded his treachery by publicly spreading the slander to all his readership – in his now-infamous 50+ page diatribe – on his Christ or Chaos website.

This spread the slander everywhere; even traditional clergy found out about it (and believed it).  Eventually, Lay Pulpit responded with a point-by point rebuttal, “Retracting Support for Paul Petko” Revisited.  But, because it too was (necessarily) long, it was since broken up into five shorter, more manageable segments: Revisiting Doctor Droleskey’s Diatribe: One Year Later, Lie No. 1: the “Association with Ryan Scott” Insinuation, Lie No. 2: The “Inappropriate Behavior with a Seminarian” Accustaion, Lie No. 3: “Grooming” of a Seminarian, and Despicable Doesn’t Go Far Enough).  One thing that must be pointed out is that Droleskey’s original diatribe has been removed from his Christ or Chaos website.  It probably did him more harm than good, so he had it taken down (his action was to no avail, however, for we have it in its entirety – intact).

For those who do not have the time (or the perseverance!) to wade through the original marathon diatribe (or even the other shorter articles), we can summarize by saying that all of Dr. D’s charges were proven to be bogus, and that his diatribe has become his “Pearl Harbor”: “it lives on in infamy.”  One of the things that really strikes this writer is the length to which this miserable wretch went to vilify Bp. Petko. Falsely accusing him of all sorts of “inappropriate behavior,” he even went so far as to create a bogus website, complete with an anonymous “witness” to alleged events in Bp. Petko’s past – arguably his most despicable deed in the whole affair. 

In his “inappropriate behavior” scheme against Bp. Petko, he convinced two seminarians and a former seminarian to “go along” with it (with a combination of lies and promises). One of them (who, because of those lies and promises, reluctantly did “go along with it”) has since realized that he was used as a pawn, has since apologized to Bp. Petko, and has (thanks be to God) since become a priest, allied with Bp. Petko.  The other seminarian (and former seminarian) didn’t really need any “convincing”: the two were one-time roommates at CMRI’s Mater Dei Seminary, where the former wrote the latter a “love poem” (for more details, see Lie No. 3: “Grooming” of a Seminarian).  So, it is easy to understand why they willingly went along with Droleskey and Ramolla’s scheme.

After Ramolla (with Droleskey’s help) got one of Bp. Slupski’s minions (Dymak) to get him his miter, their political alliance dissolved:  Ramolla turned on his SAG parishioners, and left them (and Droleskey) “high an dry” – but not before buying himself a $900 miter, $1000 worth of candles, plus some other “goodies” (all at the parish’s expense, of course).  He absconded to Germany, taking his “love poem” seminarian with him.  The former seminarian is now reportedly somewhere out West, while Ramolla and his “buddy” are reportedly still in Germany.  Droleskey and Ramolla, the two former political allies and co-conspirators, are now bitter adversaries – and the former is now reportedly in the Cincinnati, Ohio area – but “keeping a low profile” (it seems that it is now Dr, D who is the one hunkering down in his “hidey-hole”!).

When one thinks about what this sanctimonious serpent did to Bp. Petko -- the LIVING HELL that he put this man through -- it boggles the mind (and makes one’s blood run cold).  But what has all his conniving and scheming netted him?  What is the outcome of Dr. D’s efforts to crucify an innocent man?  What are the fruits of his underhandedness?  After going through the living hell of his treachery and having bravely borne this cross, Bp. Petko is now doing quite well.  The truth is now out, Droleskey’s lies against Bp. Petko have been exposed, and Dr. D’s carefully crafted conspiracy against him has collapsed.  Droleskey knows he can no longer do him any damage.  And Dr. D’s fellow conspirators, like rats leaving a drowning ship, have scattered and dispersed, their alliance having dissolved and their plot having failed. 

So, the prestigious PhD, the man who fashions himself as the oracle of traddieland: what has he accomplished?  How has he fared?  Firstly, the damage that he tried to do to Bp. Petko backfired on him: the immediate effect of his diatribe on Christ or Chaos was a significant loss of readership (and revenue) – so much so, that he pulled the article.  Since then, he has been looking for ways to reverse his losses (losses, of course, that were of his own making), and to recoup his credibility.  But Dr. D knows that, having publicly lied about Bp. Petko, and having got caught at it, his credibility is now shot.

Oh yes, he can still be traddieland’s “matinee idol” for the brain-dead, the gullible, and those who think that a 10,000-word snore-a-thon capped off with a mini-litany constitutes “good Catholic reading.”  But for everyone else, he will no longer be taken seriously, or be considered a “moral force to be reckoned with.”  He probably thought that his plot against Petko was a clever one; but in retrospect, it was rather adolescent, and not so well done as he had originally imagined or anticipated.  And now, he has gone off and got himself a Roman collar (as if this will help “rehabilitate” him).  But it won’t work, Doc: a Roman collar can’t turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse.

The “prestigious PhD,” at last report, is still “diatribing for dollars” on his CoC website, and still living in his trailer home.  His former allies having abandoned him, the Winnebago windbag now has to “start from scratch” again.  He is hoping to woo new recruits (and revenue) so that he, for one thing, can get himself something more “substantial” to live in.  If he can’t scrape up enough for an honest-to-goodness house, perhaps he could settle for – you guessed it -- a “hidey-hole”! – “serpent-sized,” of course (perhaps a scaled-down version of Hitler’s bunker).  It should be concrete-reinforced, too, with plenty of insulation (to meet Obama’s new “energy efficiency” requirements).  And -- oh yes -- to meet his own posthumous requirements, it should be asbestos-lined.